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We all say the craziest things

Hm... If someone was to make a clone of themselves and then screw it would it be incest or masturbation?
Joy
 
-Wait, so if his head's on my body, and my head's on the dead cat body, is the dead cat's head on his body?
-Sure. But we don't know where his body is.
-Oh, right. Well I'm sure it looks like a turkey so we could improvise.
Shiro and Me
 
I have Black Eyes of Doom!
Shiro
 
-I don't understand all these toilet scrubber commercials. There's nothing you can dish out that you can't get off by putting bleach in the bowl for five minutes.
-Is that a challenge?
Mom and Doug
 
It's not just a skirt, it's a fashion statement.
Doug
 
Um... is that a peanut?
Me
 
The magical land behind the merry-go-round...
Sarah
 
-Is this what it's usually like?
-Yeah. I correct their grammar occasionally, but that's it.
John, Ding, Harry T., and me
 
I'm a reptile.
J Hwang
 
Yea! My pig is getting full!
Me
 
It's like the secret garden, but more like a swamp.
Me
 
Hot pants.
Sarah
 
It's a Shreenato.
Shiro and me
 
Do you even have a meat grinder?
Me to Crystal
 
-What's the difference between Democrats and Repulicans?
-Democrats care about people... and Republicans don't...
-That's actually pretty good.
Brendan and me and Mr. Hoss (sp?)
 
Does he ever wear shorts?
Me
 
Slime!
Crystal
 
An2 + bubbles2 = chaos2. Chaos is the hypotenuse.
Me
 
Ew! Luigi!
Shiro
 
Dia del dinero.
Jenn
 
Let's give a special thanks for the ghosts, witches, werewolves, virgins, and other mythical creatures.
Joy
 
What are you going to do with that fuzzy thing?
Sky
 
No, he's all bones.
Me
 
-Why have I never seen a panda take a dump?
-Well, how often do you poop?
-What?
-You would poop the same amount of time as the panda.
-What about a constipated panda?
-Have you ever seen a constipated panda?
-I've never seen a panda.
Brendan and me
 
The banana thought it was Adam!
Morgie
 
You're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
Joy and me
 
I want a magical liptick knife!
Shiro
 
-I want to skip in the street, climb that tree, roll in that dirt like that little chickadee.
-Wow that rhymes.
Shiro and me
 
Sizzle... sizzle... ah!
Naomi
 
I'm sorry to burst you coconut dreams.
Me
 
It's a jigglypuff in disguise.
Me
 
-Orange vapors!
-Don't poke the pith!
Joy and me
 
Excuse me, but can you show me the way to the vomitorium?
Me
 
I'd want an ogre in my back pocket.
Dawnsie and Jess
 
Djboody!
Shiro
 
I like cheese so much...
Shiro
 
The Sarcastic Bunny.
Shiro
 
It's the juice! I swear!
Shiro
 
-You dumbass!
-Ingrid, why are you dissing my fish?
-I have an inferiority complex.
Ingrid and me
 
-"I heart you," remarked the ever so quiet chimpanzee.
-And the goldfish replied in a bubbly way, "And I love you too. Never leave me."
-For the chimpanzee so loved the goldfish that it promised to forever stay by its side through all the trials of the world.
Jenn and me
 
-Sits on rock. This is very...refreshing.
-It was a big rock.
-Sits on bigger rock.
-Damn you.
Jenn and me
 
Dihydrogen Monoxide kills hundreds each year yet there are no government regulations for it.
Brendan
 
I'm trying to get the nail polish off before my dad gets home but it is hard.
Brendan
 
-Wow I just got a pop up window that was in French.
-Haha.
-Thats what you get for being a commie.
-I can be a marxist if i want. That doesn't have anything to do with the french.
-Or does it?
Brendan and me
 
Isn't watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Brendan
 
-You would like Hamden Hall. Lots of interesting kids.
-Interesting like interesting or interesting like hot girls?
-Very diverse personality wise. Well, both... both...
Harry T. and me
 
Enserio?!
Ding and Harry T.
 
What's with the accent?
Me
 
Murder by flan!
Joy and me
 
Surely you didn't go to the parties. I hope not. Then you'd all be drug addicts, getting pregnant all the time.
Mr. Morrell
 
My beach is this big! Spreads arms Well, bigger I guess.
Me
 
Explosion program!
Sky
 
I'm so thirsty... it's like I have a disease... tha makes me thirsty.
Me
 
Welcome to the world of comfusion... on the left you shall see my brain.
Becca
 
My mondays are all sanding and breakfast foods.
Me
 
Potatoes are nice, to talk to that is.
Sue
 
Brendan is bread!
Me
 
Oh, it's a pencil... I thought it was something edible.
An
 
-My birthday's on a Sunday. Laughs I find that funny.
-Why, beacuse it's Jesus day?
-Laughs Yeah...
Claire and me
 
I'm edible!
Winston
 
There's a corpse rotting in my downstairs bathroom.
Dawnsy
 
Friedrich = Me
Frederick = Poser
Fried rice = Yum...
Me
 
Catholic school girls... they don't spilie up... they just separate and reunite... in hell."
Nick
 
So now I can say I was in an orgy today?
Matt
 
The dance team would be a lot better if they were attractive and naked.
Duncan
 
I'm a masochist with a low pain tolerance.
Anonymous
 
-Woah... I was talking to <Anonymous>... and they're like 'I'm a masochist with a low pain tolerance.' It was weird.
-I'm a masochist with a high pain tolerance.
-Oh... um... okay...
-That's why I like <Painful Hobby?>
-Sure...
A Different Anonymous and me
 
-Woah... I was talking to <A Different Anonymous> and they're like 'I'm a masochist with a high pain tolerance. That's why I like <Painful Hobby?>' It was weird.
-Well, <Painful Hobby?> certainly gets <A Different Anonymous> where they want to go.
Crystal and me
 
It was a typo... of the mouth...
Brendan
 
That big black swirling mass... that made my life.
Dawnsy
 
George is my home dawg.
Dawnsy
 
Look over here, watch my stick!
Mrs. Okamoto
 
The mushroom... in the jar... it ate iced tea!
Me
 
-Brendan's probably burning in a pit of acid somewhere.
-If he is, we should pour vinegrette on him.
-Balsamic?
-Yes.
Joy and Me
 
-Where's Dustin? Is he dead? Looks around And there was much rejoicing!
-Dustin walks in.
-And there was much unrejoicing.
Me
 
If I were power walking, I would burst into flames.
Erik/Chester/Doozer
 
Melissa is just a substitute since J Hwang is gone.
Becca
 
Like the cows miss their gelatin.
Brendan
 
Andre! Verba!
Me
 
It's more better.
Brendan
 
I want a star... point... bonus...!
Andre
 
We're not going to be making negative corn.
Mrs. Stevens
 
Ask your partner to draw a pea.
Mrs. Okamoto
 
Didn't hole punch his worksheet. I missed!
Brendan
 
I think I stapled my butt.
Duncan
 
If you were to get hydrochloric acid on you, would you wash it off with water or simply cancel it out with a base such as vinegar?
Brendan
 
There are people who are not good at things.
Os
 
There is no seven!
Joy
 
Hold on... just a minute... it's 5!
Joy
 
Yeah... like that time in Nam...
Brendan
 
I don't like it when bugs have sex. Or bats.
Melissa
 
Joy, you think you know about braiding? Look at Dustin!
Brendan
 
This is all I learned from history class. Dances.
Brendan
 
You know, he's the big guy with the bold hair.
Mrs. Fritz
 
I can't believe you only have one quote from me!
Sky
 
That woodchuch won't even look at you now. You made him sad.
Melissa to me
 
I'll just use Mrs. Fazzino's apple.
Mrs. Okamoto
 
Did you get those from Chinese fortune cookies?
Me
-Winston, you need to learn to be more patient with people when they can't do something. What if some Russian guy came up to you and said "Ha ha you're stupid you can't speak Russian!"
-Well if it were Nerminka the first day I'd cry and then the next day I'd learn some Russian and then the next day I could talk to her and then the next day... well you know.
Winston and me
 
Go find me a uterus!
Andre
 
My turtle wants to have sex with your penguin.
Me to Parfait
 
The lawn bags are attacking me!
Dawnsie
 
Damn you! I specifically asked to be not actually related but everyone called me their cousin...
Me
 
Brendan, don't trip over your wife.
Me
 
-What are you writing?
-Would you believe me if I said I was translating the lost chapter of Mein Kampf in which Hitler said "You know, I really don't have anything against the Jews. They're pretty cool. I just had a bet with a Polish guy that I could wipe out an entire race. I guess I lost."
Aaron and me
 
He... said... yes!
Morgie
 
3...2...1...poke!
Sonia
 
Don't poke me with that!
Joy
 
There's a fly in there!
Me
 
We need more nachos.
Joy and me
 
Go find a bumblebee to be attracted to!
Me
 
Such feminine handwriting...
Joy
 
-I don't know how to do it.
-You have to go inside.
-Wait... what?
-Just stick your hand in and I'll tell you when to stop.
-I can't get it!
-Don't worry, not many guys are good at this.
Kara, Brendan and me (on Cat's Cradle)
 
Who's Peter Picard?
Joy
 
All... night... long...
Morgie
 
Aw! The butterfly's your husband!
Me to Shiro
 
When in doubt, use cross products!
Joy
 
I should be dead... I've drank so many things I should'nt've... like nail polish remover.
Brendan
 
Good icecream.
Dawnsie, Joy, Shiro and me
 
Will is sexy and hot...
Ding
 
Coolalalalala!
Winston
 
I'm as happy as a lark.
Harry T.
 
-You don't just give girls lingerie in high school.
-I know. It's joke.
-You said you were serious.
-But if you did... sweet!
-H. Tizo would be... uh, I'm not going to finish that sentence...
Ding, Harry T. and me
 
Harry wants to over-do it.
Ding
 
The roofridge bells of ring!
Nikki, Shiro and me
 
OMFGWTFSTFUJKLOLLMFAO
ROFLSUVBBQJMKMIAPOWBY
OBHTMLJPEG!
Shiro
 
That Chinese girl and her goth friend are looking for you.
Random kid, Shiro, Brendan and me
 
-Quit walking like that, it's freaking me out.
-Okay.
-And don't strut!
-(Starts strutting) Aw...
Brendan and me
 
Ghetto porch!
Brendan
 
Bring on the trigonometry!
Mr. Rinaldi
 
Fruit juice orgy!
Shiro, Brendan and me
 
Three litres!
Me
 
Skull-mon-keys.
Me
 
Eep!
Shiro
 
Are you going to take it, or drink it, or... smell it?
Me to Brendan
 
Blastfamy!
Shiro
 
Hey semen, just keep reading it over.
Wakil (meaning unknown)
 
LITE!
Joy
 
SNAH!
Shiro
 
Apnish!
Shiro and me
 
Ah! My spleen!
Joy
 
I learned a new word.
Winston
 
8/10 people would pay money to see you and Brendan make out. Half would pay over $5.
Me to Will
 
Damn you are such a crazy web monkey.
Shiro to me
 
-How are you?
-I am shiny.
-I will put you in my shiny box.
Shiro and me
 
Like the 'William Hung' theory.
Os
 
-Well... if you think about it a lot... you'll come to the conclusion that it's all John Travolta's fault.
-Oh yeah... I guess it is.
-Him and the lobsters.
-The green lobsters?
-Yes.
-And the yellow pig?
-Of course.
-And the flying zebra?
-No, he's cool. It's the orange zebra you have to watch for.
Becca and me
 
It's like a vampire... bite!
Austin and me
 
Coffee, tea, or a beating?
Me
 
Joy, did you just meow?
Me
 
-Perry Ellis.
-Oh my God don't look at my boob!
Winston and me
 
You'd make a cute gnome.
Brendan to Na
 
-You have a girlfriend?
-In my dreams.
-What's she look like?
-A female, not a male.
Winston and me
 
-...the virgin Mary.
-Ew! What a whore!
Winston and me
 
He wants to wear your pink dress?
Me to Joy on Winston
 
You know what Winston, you're a farm!
Joy
 
-Ugh!
-What?
-She looks like a chicken.
Winston and me
 
Touch it, try it, and you will feel different.
Winston
 
I didn't go beacuse of my nose.
Bethany
 
It's just a circle that looks like Charlie Brown's head.
Bethany
 
Now dance!
Shiro
 
Doug smells like bacon! Oh... now I want bacon...
Brendan
 
Desert!
Becca and Me
 
-I wish I had a killing bush.
-Granted... but... it... only... kills... puppies...
Shiro and me
-I saw Catwoman the other day.
-Was it horrible?
-No, that cop dude was a sexy beast... according to... some chicks behind me... looks around suspiciously
Brendan and me
 
My blood... it says LIES... and a flying triangle!
Aloe Vera
 
Okay, so Becca is going out with Erik, but she thinks he's gay, so she's having an affair with Chester. Meanwhile, Erik is being gay and cheating on Becca with Doozer, who doesn't know Becca exists, and is having an affair with Liz. Consequently, Liz is also dating Becca.
Erik, Chester, Doozer, Becca, Brendan and Me
 
-You're not strong.
-I could be.
-Arm wrestle?
-No, you'd beat me.
-Yeah, I'm strong.
-Do you, like, do push-ups for fun or something?
-Yeah.
-Oh... you're crazy!
Winston and me
 
It's Mother's Day miracle!
Winston
 
Winston, how long until you start wearing pants?
Me
 
Joy's like, "Woah, I'm Joy."
Winston
 
It's like incest.
Me
 
I may not look like your mother, but I can act like her.
Mr. Rinaldi
 
I only pick on you because I don't like you.
Mr. Rinaldi to Winston
 
-Why are you task master?
-Because I speak english.
-Oh crap.
Winston and me
 
I think he's Lord of the Dance.
Joy
 
I'm not sheep... Bah!
Winston
 
Dawnsy is black people, and love!
Dawnsy
 
Why are there muffins in the printer?
Me to Dawnsy
 
-Does the stereo get pancakes?
-No, I don't love the stereo like that.
Dawnsy and Me
 
Wow, that's fat. Wow, that's fatter.
Me
 
Like a diseased alley dog full of ticks.
Shiro
 
The kids are dragon shit!
Harry T.
 
I was bored, so I told everyone I was downloading their brains.
Danny
 
-I thought only teenage girls could scream like that.
-No, fourth grade boys can do it too.
Harry T. and me
 
-Are you a friend of Harry's?
-No, I'm a terrorist.
Random teacher and me
 
It's a draw. Throws grass. Haha!
Harry T.
 
It is my dream to crush the spirits of all these innocent children.
Me
 
We're not cheating... we're just following the laws of physics, not the game.
Ding, Harry T. and me
 
Rematch?
Ding and Harry T.
 
-I know nothing about Monty Python.
-It's okay. Just think about the most crazy funny British thing possible.
Hans and me
 
Holy hand grenade, Batman!
Joy
 
Books and music are da shit.
Harry T.
 
Jasmine is my God Friend.
Joy
 
What the hell is a wieness?
Will
 
...Has nightmare in which she get chased by a parabola while reciting the quadratic formula...
Joy
 
A transvestite stripper?
Ding
 
All the food's orange!
Shiro and me
 
Sweet clemenyem!
Brendan
 
Screw the flyswatters, we've got cream puffs!
Shiro and Me
 
BGINGO!
Me
 
Vive los nachos!
Brendan (who doesn't take Spanish)
 
Honka honka!
Shiro
 
It's sinking in right about... now.
Dawnsie
 
It's a giant bonzai!
Shiro
 
That's like Gollum in the King of the Flies.
Mr. Morrell
 
I think I pixelized your mom.
Shiro
 
We're having a halloween party in my nose!
Joy
 
Hey guys!
Ding
 
How do you spell sentence... and beyond?
Joy
 
Cornstarch = science.
Joy
 
You actually thought you could be real?
Me
 
Spooky pillows!
Me
 
Moan... eek!
Shiro
 
Slap slap slap... clap clap clap...
Shiro
 
I stalk these cupcakes.
Uknown
 
Yo, these peeps be frontin. Solid.
Joy
 
-I love water.
-I'm 70 percet water.
-I love 70 percent of you.
Shiro and me
 
Boing!
Shiro and Joy
 
Oh my god it's a ferret!
Joy
 
-I'm so black inside.
-Do black people listen to emo?
Becca and Joy
 
Oh my god! What are they doing to that bunny?
Me
 
She's worth more than $1.59. I mean, her clothes are worth more than that. If I bought her, I'd just take off all her clothes and...
Brendan
 
Vir. That's a man, like me, or at least I used to be.
Mr. Morrell
 
Why are there aliens in my fishtank?
Me
 
Say no to drugs and sex, or if you can't say no to that, learn to say no to salesmen. They'll make you buy things you don't need, rip you off.
Mr. Morrell
 
Can you check to see if they're squishy?
Becca
 
What is Jeopardy Syndrome?
Inez, Joy, Jenn, Brendan and me
 
I'm going to fondle your turtle.
Me to Parfait
 
Soap opera... on drugs!
Jenn and me
 
Rub the baby: Take one.
Shiro and me
 
Yes! I have the fuzzier head!
Antrobus
 
-What happened to the jello?
-We evaporated it...
Mom and Jenn and me
 
-Chao, hombre.
-Pues... chao... hombre... mujer... algo...
Harry T. and me
Hehe... I need to get a quote book like Parfait... I forget things like this pretty quickly...